This issue we set ourselves the challenge of finding not only revolting but also ridiculous season recipes that double as decoration. Curious? We scoured our recipe books as well as the internet  (from the phallic to the truly inedible) to bring you our top 5 revoltingly decorative holiday dishes.  Bon Appetit!

Banana Candles 

3 bananas
2 tablespoons lemon juice
6 pineapple rings
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
3 glacé cherries

Halve the bananas crosswise, dip in lemon juice and place each half, end uppermost, in a pineapple ring. Drip mayonnaise down the sides of the bananas.

Using a toothpick, fix half a cherry on top of each banana. It will resemble a burning candle in its holder. Place each “candle” on a small plate, lined with lettuce leaves.

Orange slices can be used instead of pineapple rings. Serves 6.

From Be Bold with Bananas
by Banana Control Board 1970

Tuna Christmas Tree

1 can (12½ oz) and 1 can (6½ oz.) Chicken of the Sea Brand Chunk Light or Solid White Tuna, drained and flaked

2 packages (8 oz. each) cream cheese, softened
1 tablespoon lemon juice
¼ cup finely chopped ripe olives
½ cup finely chopped walnuts
¼ teaspoons alt
1½ teaspoons dry mustard
1/8 teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon thyme

Combine cream cheese and tuna in a large bowl. Add remaining ingredients and stir well. Place in mold and refrigerate. Serve in the mold or transfer to a serving plate. Decorate with parsley garlands, sliced cherry tomatoes, a lemon slice and pimento star.

Classic trifle

Hellmann’s Frosty Slaw Man Salad

6 envelopes plain gelatin
1/4 cup cold water
3 cups Hellmann’s Real Mayonnaise
3 teaspoons salt
3 lbs cottage cheese, cream style
2 medium heads cabbage, grated or finely chopped, making 12 cups

Soften gelatin in cold water; stir over hot water until dissolved. Mix with Hellmann’s Mayonnaise, salt, cottage cheese. Fold in cabbage.

For Head – pack salad into 1lb. Cottage cheese carton. Chill in refrigerator until firm

For Body – Pack salad into two 6 cup bowls. Chill until firm. Or use one bowl…turn out when firm…then refill

To Form Snowman – Unmold one bowl on platter, rounded side down. Top with salad from second bowl, rounded side up. (Two flat sides meet, forming a ball). Unmold heads; set on body. Make carrot pipe, green or red pepper haat, sliced olive eyes and buttons, tiny tomato nose, cucumber or carrot stick broom, parsley scarf. Use remaining salad as a base.

Oscar Mayer Holiday Hostess Tree

The meats on the Christmas tree

  1. Oscar Mayer Bacon, cooked, wrapped around stuffed olives
  2. Oscar Mayer Little Wieners, split and filled with cheese
  3. Oscar Mayer Cotto Salami around ripe olives, pearl onions
  4. Oscar Mayer Little Smokies
  5. Oscar Mayer Liver Sausage (braunschweiger) on rye rounds, edged with chopped pimiento and green pepper
  6. Oscar Mayer Boneless Canned ham around small sweet pickles

Little Wieners and Little Smokies are fully cooked-delicious either hot or cold. Set out a table grill or Hibachi so folks can toast their own, or provide a Spicy hot dip.

Classic trifle

Cranberry Candles

1 1-pound can Ocean Spray Whole Cranberry Sauce
1 3-ounce package red, yellow or orange fruit-flavored gelatin
1 cup boiling water
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 cup Hellmann’s Real Mayonnaise
1 apple or orange, peeled and diced
1/4 cup chopped walnuts

Heat cranberry sauce, strain, set berries aside. Dissolve gelatin in hot juice and water. Add salt and lemon juice. Chill until thickened enough to mound slightly when dropped from a spoon.

Beat in real mayonnaise with rotary beater until light and fluffy. Fold in cranberries, fruit and nuts. Divide mixture evenly into eight 6-ounce fruit juice cans. Chill 4 hours or longer. Unmold. Garnish with real mayonnaise to taste.

To flame: Cut thin birthday candles in half to shorten. Insert into tops of cranberry candles. Light.